The Day of the Accountants
by Helen Stubbs.
January 31st is the biggest day in our Accountant’s team calendar. Every activity throughout the year is geared towards getting your tax returns filed by 31 January with our lives still intact.
Being an ex-member of the accounts team I have felt their pain and crikey, am I glad to be out of it. It’s a battle, a war! – but wait – I’m sure they like the challenge – in fact I know they love it.
So how have they got through it alive? I work my way round the room, with varying responses (and I’ve added my insight into their responses just for fun).
Firstly the marketing team, who although don’t have the threat of January looming, the sympathy pains are just as bad, so they say.
Tom – without hesitation: “Online shopping” – (seriously, we’re talking a new package every day).
Lucy: “It’s January? I still have my Christmas tree up.”
Dan: “Gin. Egg casserole. My new spider mug. Simply Red.”
Kerissa: “Your face” (ahh how sweet, she’s not even lying, I do have an excellent face)
Luc: “Your face.” Oh how delightful! Wait – I know Luc… I sense sarcasm. I press him, “OK, OK – certainly not, not drinking. Getting back into exercise and the thought of a nice cold beer on 1st Feb.”
Moving onto the accounts team. I find Simon wandering the office.
Simon: “Your face” – OK Simon thanks but I think we all know that’s not true. “No, seriously – your face.” Come on Simon. “Your face”.
This continues for a good 4 minutes. Simon therefore automatically forfeits his answer and so I can tell you Simon has got through January by winding people (me) up.
Mike: No answer – phone call – he’s run off to the library.
Emma: “Tea. Being fed and watered. Tea. Red wine. Did I mention tea?” I think it’s a hint – someone get her a cup of tea!
Talan: “My strength of character” <sigh> I raise an eyebrow. “OK – coffee and pizza”.
Becca: “Mostly looking forward to my birthday hint hint”. I’m hoping the appropriate person has the hint.
Touhid: “Bourbon (biscuits or whiskey? You decide).”
Michelle: “The loving support of my wonderful family” – how can I get across the blank expression and monotone delivery of this so husband Dan takes the hint? Hmm…
Mike: Still no answer. Still in the library. Working.
Phil: “Mayonnaise.” I think he means nicotine and caffeine.
Dani: “Your face” – this is getting silly now.
Nicola – have you met her? She’s shiny and new: “Memories of my Cape Town holiday, and moving to Falmouth has kept me occupied.”
Hayley Robins (loudly as she has her headphones on): “BEYONCE. Lot’s of Beyonce. And my pals.”
Harry – smearing blue and white war paint across his cheeks: “SUPERBOOWWLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!”
Ross, sincerely: “Passion and love for all my clients” – wow. Pass the bucket.
Hayley Hall: “Knowing February is coming” – our first sensible answer ladies and gentlemen.
Mike: Still no answer – he may be stuck – should we send help?
As for me… My wonderful, kind, generous, glorious, efficient, funny work mates who make me feel so fulfilled and help make my life so easy! (Now, who wants to do a blog????)